Interpersonal changes in child development

Just as each expectant parent experiences psychological and emotional changes
and challenges during pregnancy, so intimate relationships also undergo a
transition in preparation for the baby’s arrival. The ability of a couple, their
extended family and social network to adjust affects the amount of support the
new parent receives. Lack of support from a partner or spouse, especially when
combined with high levels of stress, increases vulnerability to post-natal
difficulties (O’Hara, 1997).
Relationship with partner
In most cases the transition to parenthood involves the entry of a third
individual into an established dyad. Of significance is the development of a
parenting relationship distinct from the pre-existing couple relationship.
This can be called the parenting alliance and it develops after a child is born
(Van Egeren, 1998). It is not the same as marital satisfaction and involves:
• shared investment in the child
• valuing the other parent’s involvement with the child
• respect for the judgement of the other parent
• desire to communicate regarding parenting issues.
The function of this alliance is to provide support and affirmation to each other in a stressful period of transition. This alliance is likely to be fairly stable
within each developmental stage of the child, but as each stage brings new
challenges to parents individually, their alliance is also stressed. Some
individuals and some couples find one developmental stage much easier than
another.
Van Egeren found that a positive parenting alliance was correlated with
parental confidence and a warm authoritative style. The frequency of disputes
over child rearing is a better predictor of behaviour problems in the child than
marital adjustment or satisfaction. Marital satisfaction peaked at one month
post-partum followed by a steep decline at six months. The realities of parenting
an infant, the sleep disturbance and other influences on life as a couple
contributed to this.
Preparation for first-time parenting also requires a change in role definition
for most couples, including a renegotiation of financial and domestic
responsibilities. For some couples this comes more easily than for others.
Social changes
Becoming a parent affects how one is perceived and related to in the world.
Motherhood is a state or occupation that carries high expectations and
paradoxically, in our society, a low status. Many women in our culture parent in
isolated, unsupported situations, becoming parents with little or no experience
of infants or of life undefined by paid work. For many women the physical and
emotional demands of pregnancy increase their sense of vulnerability and
dependence on others.
For most women, there is an inevitable impact on their place in the world of
work and their working or professional identity. Most women take some paid or
unpaid leave from employment when they have a baby and there can be losses
and anxieties about what this will mean for their careers and jobs. For a couple,
roles may become more traditionally defined for a while, with the woman at
home with the infant and the man providing financial support. These are big
adjustments that do not necessarily come easily. Combined with changes to their
personal, financial and social lives, these contribute to the losses associated with
adjustment to parenthood.